There are going to be some things happening in the next month that are going to mean my comfortable life is going to be rocked.
Change 1: My bf will be moving into his own place. He hasn't really had his own space in a long time and mostly been staying with me. While I am so happy for him and excited about some space, I am so afraid this means we will grow apart. I know we will still see each other, but there is SO much I find relaxing and healing about falling asleep & waking up with him. That, and the fact that he gets so caught up in work and his daily routine that I am afraid he may just forget about me …"oh, opps I haven’t talked to you in a few days". I do know that we fight over silly things right now, and that it may have to do with the fact that we see each other too much. He does need to figure things out and get his life together. Maybe I am just being silly.... we will see though.
Change 2: I am either going to sign on for credit counseling….. or bankruptcy. I have talked with an agency that is going to help me. In 5 years I will be debt free. But I will be VERY low on funds until that date. I know I can not go on like this anymore. Some weeks I have no money for food. I do know it is my fault I am where I am in debt (that wedding that never happened ….that I am still paying for). BUT the credit card companies have screwed me in interest, fees, and all-in-all just everything. So I have to do something. I do admit that the thought of it just disappearing seems nice, even if it’s on my credit report for years to come by filing bankruptcy. At this rate I can’t buy a home or new car anyway …. So why does it matter? I am still unsure what to do, but I will be making a decision here this month.
Change 3: I am doing a complete overhaul of myself. I am going to find the old me …. From years ago that was so confident … even at 200lbs. I WILL begin to demand the things in life that I want and deserve. NO MORE putting up with other peoples crap. Let’s see how that goes!!!