Friday, February 19, 2010

a hit right to the heart .....

Valentines day proved to be a good one. A friends boyfriend cooked dinner for some of us singe girls including flowers and chocolates! It was a very sweet gesture.

My night ended with a friend from MANY years ago telling me his true feelings for me ..... but ....uh, no. Oh, and dancing and singing Single Ladies did happen.... but no snap shots of it.

(this pic of Lu to the right is her writing a letter to her papa (my ex) telling him she is sending him poop for v-day!!)

I found out yesterday that only after a month and a half of being broken up, the EX who said "I've never been single and feel like i need to take time to just figure things out and get things in order" is actually dating someone. Part of me wanted to laugh .... dating? If you've never been single, then i already know where this one is headed. He actually called me to TELL me he was dating some girl. My ex's all break up with me and accidentally get the next girl prego. (One was actually a stripper). I can admit that it really hurts. Even with all the positive thinking and really trying to LOOK at him and talk myself out of feeling sad.....finding out there is already a replacement is a hit right to the heart. Doesn't our relationship deserve some mourning time? I mean, I was JUST in your bed 2 weeks ago .... it's not even cold. (A bed that is in a house I helped you find, covered with my parents bedspread!!) I know that line gets used on many girls - "space" but we continued to talk once a day if not more....... wtf??? I am still trying to remain positive.

I am CERTAIN there is something I am to learn from this - but GOD would you please just post it on a billboard next time instead of slowly and painfully grinding my heart into the carpet? I guess it still bothers me that I felt I never really got a chance with the ex. And now some random girl gets to come in after all the hard work I put into things. He was always one step away due to his past relationship. Due to being in a selfish place. And due to being ......well, maybe not what God actually wanted for me.

I am sad, again. What's new.