Sorry I haven't posted in a while, but to be honest i have been a bit depressed. The previous post really sent me into some dark places, but as of now I am feeling much better.
I am the kind of girl who is always trying to look at the good in all situations. I always have to work through what God might be trying to teach me in each thing. And until last week I just could not see even a tiny reason why He let me get involved with someone like the past guy and why it ended so quickly and as painful as it was.
Driving in my truck the other day the end of a song was streaming....."you are safe, child.... know you are safe" and it really came over me. Maybe God realized (as I originally did) that THIS guy was not the one for me. HOW COULD HE BE? I know - without sounding conceited, that I deserve someone who is mentally sound, stable, and living in reality. And the PAST guy was NOT. Maybe this was God's way of showing me, that what i think I want.....is NOT what I deserve. Now.....I am safe. I know he would have ended up hurting me. Mentally, physically, in any way possible. Because he likes to hurt others, and he likes to hurt himself.
I think GOD for keeping me safe. I an thankful that this lesson was only a few months and not years like the ones in my past. I am just constantly reminding myself that when i start to get upset over losing what i thought I wanted, I am actually telling God that he does not know what he is doing. I would never want to be ungrateful for the things in my life....or the things He has taken out of my life to ..... KEEP ME SAFE.
I am safe. And sometimes it takes God - pulling the rug out from under you to make you realize this.
I thank Him.
12 comments:
Glad to hear you are emerging from the shadows. You have been missed. :)
Welcome back.
May you always feel safe.
Oh, my girl.
I'm so sorry. But it looks like you made the right decision, and it shows how strong you really are. I'm proud of ya.
hi there.... i have to say for a momement i thought i was reading me :-).
i am so sorry u had to go through that but at the end of the day u know it didnt kill you so now ur wiser and stonger....
dont let this or anything else be the reason not to embrace love again or a relationship.... not everyone is the same .....
As kris said we re proud of u :-)
You have some interesting thoughts! Perhaps we should contemplate about attempting this myself.
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How are you doing?
I'm glad you realized God's message and lesson for you. What a hard way to learn it though. I hope you are over the guy that might have hurt you in times to come. I had a similar experience once, in the early 2000s. The guy rejected me after I had left my marriage to be with him. I was devastated for years. Finally, I realized that my love for this guy served 2 very important functions: 1) it got me out of a toxic marriage and 2) it got me sober. Two very important things in my life that I was not able to do on my own... Thanks for your post and welcome back!
When I was reading your post I just couldn't believe it. How different and unique we are and yet how similar... I just got out of a disfunctinal relationship that was getting me nowhere. I knew with my mind that we had no future but my heart kept torturing me. I kept fighting for a lost cause. That was until I realised that I would lose if I won. He was just not the right guy for me and if we did have a real relationship I would just suffer more. It was hard, it is hard... I long to see him one more time, I know it won't change a thing and still I want it. It is better this way. Being free from him I can finaly start living again instead of masochistically torturing myself thinking what could have been ...
PS. You can also check out my blog:
www.unknowable-emotion.blogspot.com
Hi Charlotte
Sometimes in life we have to learn certain lessons in order for us to become stronger. Life has many ups and downs and people are not always honest in their dealings with others. It takes a lifetime of experience but we all make massive mistakes.
Every now and again the rug of life will be pulled out from under your feet. I'm glad you are safe as some don't recover. Very nice post and interesting blog.
Another great article. I like that you are very honest and direct to the point.
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